Category: Livia

Communiputor

As soon as she was privy to the blues of her winged friends, Livia set out to investigate. She dove into the inner sanctum of her large, many-layered wooden nest, toiling and tinkering within. Flashes of colored light and smoke occasionally burst out window or chimney, followed with a birdthroated sound of discovery and a continued hum of bustling quiet. This scene was a regular one in this particular patch of well-wooded Forest, up in the Northest of Borderlands. Most observers of said phenomena, however, did not boast human eyes. The thick perimeter of Birchwood winked at the close circle of Willows hugging the house, passing knowing glances about this most dear of inhabitants. She’s on to something. A breeze swayed softly in the Willows’ hair. Indeed. The sun glinted just so, from Birch to Birch. A few glides from each, where Pigeons roosted uneasily in an oddly-shaped grain tower, the air was fairly sparkled with the invisible messengers of tree-speak, and the silent mood was inexplicably calmed with each passing breath.

The colors and caws emanating from the cottage continued well into the yellowing of the day. Bit by bit, the only color to burst from the cloistered artist’s lab was blue. Blue, blue, blue.

Before sunset, Livia returned to the Tower, steeped in elysian temperament, with the messages that would assuage the flock-panic of The Blue Scare. News of the discovery was spread quickly through the Tower flockery, and messengers were sent wheeling Westward to deliver to the Rocky Mountain crew for immediate proliferation amongst the broader PLPL network. Because the Chicago meeting was soon upon them, the flock of Livia’s Tower voted unanimously to deliver the message in person to their Eastern affiliates in two days’ time. Beyond the two outposts, the weather would carry the rest.

They would meet after a day’s flight, and so they settled down to roost until the morning star sounded.

Most of them, that is.

Florence was still awake. She had not quite been able to synthesize the information about high protein content of base grains with what she already knew of Livia’s actual designs. She calmed herself with the reassuring knowledge that she knew more about the inner workings of Livia’s grand mission than nearly any other Pigeon. That meant she was rightly privy to more worry than most of the flock. Understandably so; her bird-sized nervous system successfully micro-processed information made to pass through much larger bodies. This is why she was able to act as messenger to the messengers. Even so, she fretted wildly in the dark quiet of night, wondering if the old lady was actually satisfied with her protein findings, or if there was more to know.

There was always more to know.

Florence found herself pacing outside Livia’s window in the pearly moonlight. Feeling her grey matter pulsing with even more lightning storms than usual, she practiced the practice, letting her wobbling circles move the thoughts expeditiously through the feeling-filter: lists of things to worry about, nonsensical pattern-recognition, unprocessed yet perfectly-filed synchronicities, film reel of the day’s visual input at 75 frames per second… there it was! She had come across a troubling bit of newspaper during that afternoon’s birddropping rounds. That’s right. The headlines that caught her peripheral vision[1] in a flapping glossy digest of madness, discovered at her usual park-pecking spot in town, they’d produced an emotive wave that matched this feeling of dread that had been churning her insides since sundown. Their content was frankly hideous. Horrendous. It didn’t make any sense. It must be faulty information. Flapping madly now herself, Florence toddled in agitated circles, lit up with the feeling that matched the thought that matched the feeling. There it was; she’d properly tracked it down, but now it was fluttering through her every nerve. She paced and flapped in circles, looking like a holographic cartoon of birdly befrazzlement whose signal was fritzing out every few seconds. The trees looked on, sighing compassion toward the creature, but it would be a moment before such subtleties reached through the heightened emotive scramble.

The old woman inside the cottage was taking her time with tinctures, carefully carrying a balance of jars and vials down into the cellar and coming back with handfuls of teeny paper scrolls which she placed one by one into a vast wall made of tiny labeled drawers. The drawers were tiny, that is, in terms of their square faces, but lengthy enough to be drawn out across the entire width of the room; each note had to be filed in exactly its right place.

Florence was quite familiar with this nightly ritual, and Livia moved with a studied efficiency. Even so, ole Flo found herself increasingly feather-ruffled by the slow tedium of it while anxiety was twiddling her nerves at every step. A breeze shifted just so, reminding her of a scent of her fledgling years. She took a deep inhale of it and then called up all her reserves to calm herself down. She connected to the slow-paced heartbeat of the All-Bird: O-gi-maa, O-gi-maa, O-gi-maa. Three long breaths later, however long that registered by the moon’s crawl across the sky, she finally felt calm enough to hold still. All was well. She recalled her place. The anxiety-producing thoughtfeeling was a human thing, and she was simply a Messenger. She would do her best by it, as with any message.

In that very moment, the old woman at last looked over, spotting her moonlit friend through the window with neither hurry nor surprise.

Livia opened the door and stepped into the threshold to receive Florence gracefully on her shoulder.

Yes, dear? I trust you have something to say at the end of this long day?”

Flo bobbed her head so vigorously she almost catapulted herself off the shoulder perch. Livia ignored the extreme cuteness factor in this gesture, walking swiftly to the communication station to hear what had worked her friend into such a tizzy.

The Communiputor, as it was fondly called by its frequenters, was a human-bird interface kept in the back office of Livia’s house. By human sight, it was a shape loosely based on a computer, but as if it were built by a 5 year old with freedom and crayon to properly cartoon what a computer should look like. Its screen took up the entire wall and it included small cupboards for manual input and output. It was enshrined in a thick green vine of some sort, growing plentifully down the edges onto the floor and up toward the windows. It indeed had a keyboard, but it was spilled out into a maze of squares on the surface of the table, lit up with the winking sparkle of a tetrachromatic spectrum. The letters were oddly ordered, and there were many more of them, with a variety of repeats and doubles, collated phonemes and dipthongs huddled close. They appeared to move as the birdbeak touched them, lining up for ease of availability as the path of letters chosen translated to a natural landing of words upon the screen. Notably, instead of landing in left-to-right linear fashion, the words arose seemingly at random as the shape of each sentence was found. Livia watched in measured attention, gathering her notepad, a multicolored hydra of a pen, and a handful of the heart-shaped leaves to chew upon.

Livia. I do not know what the trouble is, but I’ve tracked my inner thought-spin as you’ve taught us, and I believe there is something Extra Troubling about this blue matter. I don’t know why, but it has to do with a headline I saw earlier today. And so I must ask: are you entirely certain about your findings?”

The biped chewed thoughtfully on a leaf. “You are astute, my dear. I have passed on the information found today in my studies. It is a simple solution, tried and true, and it resonates with the research found many times over by long-time fanciers and bird-tenders. Too much protein can indeed cause a blueing of the skin. So yes, I did think it was complete. But, my well-attuned friend, as I’ve been tending to the Integration Station tonight, I found some stray ends. Of the protein spike, I am certain, but I have found more complex causes for concern.”

The beak pecked swiftly: “What? What concern?”

A small smile graced the thin craggy face. The trust and respect were mutual, and this dear bird came circling back in exactly the right time, every time. Livia took a slow breath and organized her findings. As she spoke, she stood and moved her hands on the screen, drawing up brightly colored images, each matching a different section of speech. The bird was simultaneously learning new information and cataloguing known information. The Communiputor functioned not only as a translation of bird thought into human formation, but vice versa. Communication was most efficient when both creatures simultaneously learned the language of the other. Livia learned this from the Birds early on in their work together, and they’d built a machinated science of it, tuned down to the most subtle of listening capacities between languages. [2]

Well,” Livia ran her fingers briefly over the soft silvery backfeathers of her small distinguished companion and then began to lay the story out. “The trouble with it being only caused by protein interactions is that it came on so suddenly. I’ve been feeding you this same base feed for years now, and we’ve not recently changed the vitamedicine supplement recipe. It is possible they’ve only recently changed their nutrition formulas to include such a protein spike, but it is more likely that that percentage gradually increased over months or years. So, if there is another contributing factor, it may include… something I don’t like at all.”

The bird nearly flipped over pecking out the single word, “WHAT?!”

Livia intentionally slowed and calmed her voice as she drew forth imagery on the screen. “I simply need to know where the extra spike might have come from. Is there any additional food source you folks have found? If you birds have been eating from a public store at all, it could mean big trouble.”

As you know, Pro-Life Pigeon League policy is that we avoid the big city feeders entirely, since we cannot rule out new poisons for which you’ve not yet given us the antidote. But, well,” Florence’s mind flashed with the recent saga of Wilhelm, and the film reel that was shuffling in her mind stopped with this card on deck: “Oh. We did get into an open trough in the southerly farmlands. It had been gone through by the chickens for the day, and we were quite hungry on a long homing flight.”

Livia met the single upturned eye. Quietly: “This is something you haven’t told me, dear. Was there anything else?”

Florence walked slowly over the letterpath. “You remember the one we lost.”

Wilhelm.” Livia’s eyes were sharp, though her body continued its calm hum.

That happened the same day. It hadn’t occurred to me when we gave you the report. Things were so scrambled, somehow I forgot to mention the food stop.” The wee creature loosed a shiver that shook through every last feather of her passeriform form. “Oh. Oh dear.”

The lady of the white headfluff spoke soothingly as she conjured shape and color on the wall. “Now, Florence. There is nothing amiss. We will track it through the dreamweave. It could be that Wilhelm had an allergic reaction to something in the food, yes. It could also be that the food itself was protein-laden enough to have caused the recent spike and subsequent blueing, and that Wilhelm’s death was elsewise caused. These things are not causal, however inextricably correllated. So we’ll take the shortest path: your intuition. Tell me, what was the exact thoughtform that had you all aflutter outside my window tonight?”

Florence’s nerves lurched and re-settled instantly upon being seen. Spotlit. Immediacy. Right. She had already tracked this one. She spelled it out: “The thoughtform and its corresponding anxiety sourced from the magazine article I happened to view earlier today.”

and suddenly it clicked.

Scrambling wildly across the rubbery letterspill, Flo spilled her guts like a freshly potty-trained toddler finally arriving at grandma’s house after two hours of are-we-there-yet-ing.

There is a human couple having their 24th baby! 24 babies! 24! That is insane! How will we ever survive on this planet? If every human made 24 more humans, can you imagine how quickly the ship would go down? They’re using the same tactic we are, trying to fertilize every single egg that passes!” [3] [4]

Oh. Oh, my. Oh, my my,” Livia shed an authentic tear. It channeled in between her South-Southwest crowsfeet and disappeared below the desert rose of her cheekbone. She recognized the exact tone that lit the room with the Pigeon’s dismay, and it matched precisely with the feeling in her belly that had landed upon learning about the mystery food. This is how the greater body signals itself. Subtle to track properly, indeed, but infinitely trustworthy once removed from its identification matrix. Livia was by then a seasoned tracker devoted to the complete trust necessary for Mastery. She chanced a hypothesis: “Florence, have any of the laying flock noticed anything out of place in the days since losing Wilhelm?”

The bird paced thoughtfully. “Everyone’s laying with the same reliable vigor. Nothing new to report.”

Of course. We wouldn’t know for another few weeks…”

Know what? What do you sense?”

Florence.” She leveled her tone and did her best to deliver only the message, no additives. “There are people who give the birds in their care a substance called a contraceptive. It renders all eggs laid sterile. I am concerned that there may have been something like this in the feed that you found that day.”

Even in the total immersion of Equanimity and Compassion with which Livia filled the room, the Pigeon nearly lost her wits and lunch all at once. She flapped like a Goose taking flight, cursed like a pack of Crows, careened all over the keyboard pumping out a stream of technogibberish, shitting on more than one dipthong.

Livia stood still, observing carefully and feeling with her friend.

Slowly, surely, the cacophany capable of being produced by a creature feeling drastically thwarted in carefully-laid plans did subside, step by step and flap by flap. Unphased, Livia chewed on another leaf, letting Florence regain her orientation and will to speak.

Speak she did. Nobly, with great reserve: “That is a dastardly, fiendish practice, surprising even for the sleepwalking mumblers that populate the human race.”

Livia nodded, unoffendable.

Florence continued: “And you mean to tell me that those responsible for non-consensually contracepting other species are meanwhile in cahoots with those who are hellbent on saddling the planet with 1200% MORE of their own species? Unthinkable. Maniacal. Preposterous.”

Bonkers. But then, of course, those people don’t know they’re in cahoots, necessarily.”

Florence marched resolutely over the squares, “That is no better. In fact it’s worse. That means it’s an even less accessible reaction formation playing out in the collective body of humanity. If they were at least AWARE of their deranged plot, we could have some traction.”

Livia hawk-eyed her friend, not unkindly, but unwilling to look away. “Something is aware of it. We are not trifling with passing storms of individual awareness. We are tracking the messages through those storms, looking for the actual Heart of the Matter.” She watched her bird friend regain a measure of composure, an internal geo-locating to who what where and why she was in that moment. Orienting. Wonderful. Necessary. Self-aware. Livia continued, “As such, we notice the reaction formation as it occurs in our own consciousness, the only access portal we have to the Whole, and then we choose a non-complimentary response such that the message is routed cleanly to Center.”

The bird flapped out a shake that was the birdly equivalent of a cold shower. A nod to the elder. Presencing the potency of the information. Choosing its pathway.

So then, if we are to make no enemies, especially when a lavish invitation to enmity is laid at our doorstep, we will need to get creative about our actions going forward.”

That was more like it. Florence’s head cleared yet another collection of cloudmatter, and she asked, “Yes, please. What is to be done?”

Boundaries first. Make sure our own aims are undamaged. I will work on the antidote at once, distribute as soon as I know it is safe. Meanwhile, please monitor the laying birds and keep note of which eggs have been laid in the interim. We can track the efficacy this way, and we’ll know upon hatching time whether the food was dosed or not.”

Florence had her problem-solving hat back on, which she much preferred to her collective unconscious psychodrama processing hat. She asked with composure, “So as soon as we get the antidote, we’ll keep it in the diet indefinitely, yes?”

I’ll ensure that it has no harmful side-effects, dearie. Yes, we will add it to the vitamedicine blend and you will never have to worry about such things again.”

The bird nodded sagely. “Good then.”

The ladies looked at one another for a moment, allowing the sparkling dreamdust to settle. The room seemed to breathe with them. The task at hand was made clear. Florence spoke first, “So then, the new information requires a sturdy threading of Compassion to be laced into the weave, does it not?”

Indeed. Livia drew onto the screen a birdlanguage expression of emphatic assent, all UV light and moving shapes. [5]

The bird paced a bit and found the words. “So the question is, what would possess a creature to act out the very problem they are simultaneously trying to fix in others?”

Even after all the years, Livia found herself sometimes surprised by the avian creature’s aptitude for utilizing the human languages’ singular best function: Naming. She sighed her appreciation. “Yes, that is the question, dear friend.”

The bird toddled thoughtfully over the lighted letters. “Well, it’s a branch of the same sourcecode we’ve identified already. The way the Shadow moves: projection and reflection. But the unwellness in the body of Humanity can turn that perfectly useful tool into a game of dodgeball.” Flo was getting her edge back, and with it her sense of humor. “How sad. Pitiful, really. Bowling would be classier, at least.”

You are wise, Flo. Learned. Astute. Perceptive. Sadly, this hypocrisy you have discovered is just one of many. In their fear of demise, humans build panic rooms for themselves. And yet those very actions render them ever further from the safety they seek. And then further panic-numbed actions are deemed necessary. And the walls keep closing in.”

The bird felt a rush of adoration for the Benefactress in her empathic clarity, but this was no time for affectionate display. She was a colleague, not a pet. Chin up, then. Stay focused on the thread. Flo channeled her emotive rush into the threadweave, bobbing her head furiously to respond, “But.. they built the panic room for EVERYONE, not just themselves! What are we supposed to do when their walls close in on US?”

Livia stared at the screen long and hard, with the concentration of a squeaker in its first year of alphabet recognition. Finally, she wrote:

We do not always know what we do. Many people have given up on the world and are just getting by. That’s why we need messages. And messengers.”

The orange eye met the lavender one and there exchanged such a strength of motionless communication as to nearly lift the little one into the air without a flap. With a delicate feather-fluff, something like the refined fart of a librarian, Flo regained her ground and returned to the keyboard.

So tell me: what distinguishes messages from distractions? What happens if people only pay attention to what they WANT to see, only hear what they WANT to hear?”

Livia took a breath. “Well, we must remember the Body of Earth is itself truly Whole. It is doing what we call ‘healing,’ as we simply track the frayed threads repairing themselves into the weave. You know, of course, there’s something known as a critical mass. And so we keep on doing our work, practicing the practice. Flooding the undercurrents. Knowing it takes time to show up on the surface.”

Yes. So how, might we ask, does this one show up? And when? What shall we be looking for?” Florence was fielding a veritable birdstorm of internal processing as she continued the discourse, knowing that the information was being actively flown to the very center of her connection to the All-Bird. Worthy science, to continue the theatre of conversation. Worthy art, to play her part. Exhausting and exilhirating at once. A quick flight around the world and back.

Well, any mission takes time and perseverance. But it also takes flexibility, adaptability. And this mission must be responsive to the world it takes place inside.” Livia was answering the underlying question, as the current had not volunteered specific answers to the creature’s inquiries. Still, it tuned the listening ear for the upcoming latenight labwork. She continued broadening her view of the field: “So we keep going, and we listen for response, we listen for reaction, we listen for repulsion. And we listen without attachment, without resistance. And then we drop more messages. This is the way the Air has taught me to communicate in the world of form,” she paused, wondering whether more words were required in the space of translation. No matter. “This is the way you Birds have taught me.”

Florence let her neck grow tall, considering all the human words and letting their meaning be held in the psychic space she shared with her Benefactress. They could cease talking this moment and all would be made clear between them. But then, their consented ethos asked them to learn and utilize one another’s languages, for the benefit of the fabric of consciousness. [6]

Lucky for Flo, she was one to keep the code. She kept quiet, letting language mix its ingredients. By the end of the storytelling, she would have a cauldron of understanding when she flew off to her familiars, still marinating the full hearty recognition of what this story meant for Squabland.

Livia shook her head slowly. “Humans have been in a dress-rehearsal for their own doom for thousands of years. Ever since…” Her eyes took in the smoke of a faraway fire, and she was silent. For many breaths.

The beak pecked gently at the keyboard. “Ever since what?”

Livia blinked back to the present. For a moment, she met the flare of an old speciesist debate about whether it was necessary to instruct a Pigeon in the history of conquest, confusion, and consent in the countries borne of the New Roman Empire. She took immediate note of the shadow function, shaking off the habit of separation, delving into the storytelling that clearly something somewhere wished would not be told.

So, here’s the story: read what you will from it. There were once upon a time several widespread plagues in the world which devastated humankind: diseases that wiped out such a massive chunk of the population that you’d think we were going the way of the Passenger.”

Flo ruffled for a moment at the mention of her ancestry, letting the grief cough its electric current through her feathers. Livia watched the plumage settle before she went on.

Germs, like spices, fabrics, and precious metals, traveled the trade routes with explorers and colonizers alike. The systems of government in Europe were feudal at the time, instating the Rule of Law through use of a heavy-tiered hierarchy with all the money, the churches, and the armed forces stacked at the top. Violent, ruthless invasions were commonplace. Kingdoms were continuously fighting for power over more people, lands, animals, and ideas. That last one will come into play in a minute here,” she glanced at Florence’s little face, briefly wondering what was going on inside the bird brain. Flo dismissed her silent inquiry with a regal nod, as if pardoning the lecture’s lack of bird-like efficiency. Livia checked herself, recognizing that whenever she found herself speaking a lot of words, it was something she needed to hear every bit as much as it was something she needed to say.

So, in the face of the plagues, humans panicked. They scrambled. They cast about looking for anything they could pray for: answers, scapegoats, deliverance. Even their commanding top-down organization of power was impotent in the face of Nature; constant talk of the End Times pulled everything taut, thickening the tangle, entrancing the leaders. In a lot of places, the plague cut the population in half in a matter of decades.” Livia saw her bird friend shudder. Too close for comfort. The poor dear would have to fly for hours to get this all digested.

Slowly, as people tried to make sense of the matter, they found some Very Good Reasons they could really sink their teeth into. In the aftermath of the worst population drop in recorded history, the manufacturers of the collusion between Church and State made a series of decrees which were supposed to re-populate the continent called Europa. One came from an ever-fashionable anti-Semitic bent that raged in colonized culture many times over, causing the persecution and deaths of millions upon millions of ‘Those People.’ Funny, for a society obsessed with curbing rampant de-population, that it seemed appropriate to kill whole factions of the population ‘Over There,’ simply on account of its Jewish faith, or Muslim faith, or Indigenous faiths of so very many ilks. These have been common mis-judgments in humankind: that there is something different about ‘Over There,’ and that killing the carriers of an idea will actually kill the idea.” Flo caught a sharp eye once more, one that stirred someplace deep and devoted. Livia went on:

Another of the decrees, spat out by the slyly-named[7] Pope Innocent the Eighth, specifically ordered for the accusation and punishment of midwives for their knowledge and implementation of contraceptive methods. Worth noting: in the decree, they were not called ‘midwives,’ but ‘witches.’ And thus began a church-sanctioned, state-sponsored witch-hunt that justified the torture and murder of millions of people. Most of these people were herbal medicinalists who carried the knowledge of contraception and practiced women’s medicine. Some of these people were merely caught up with the ‘wrong’ crowds, those who openly enjoyed pleasures of the flesh, those who refused to conform, those who spoke without fear. Thus natural methods of contraception and family planning went by the wayside, not only because of the deaths of practitioners, but because of the superstitions planted in the culture, enforced by the Rule of Law. The ‘re-population’ decrees were simply a few examples of the extensive measures our kind has employed in order to avert fear of Extinction. The result, ironically, was a population bulge that made possible ambitious wars of conquest and expansion of empire. So,” Livia paused to release a breath big enough to feed a whole field of rue. “As you see, in the process of flailing to save ourselves, we humans destroy ourselves. In an attempt to have control, we kill of parts of ourselves and extinguish our connection with thousands of years’ worth of experience and collaboration in the divine practice of communicating with Nature. All for what? To get back to where the trouble started. Here we are, still: human idea-machines, trying madly to control Nature and avoid Apocalypse.”

Flo looked mesmerized. Human storytelling was syllabically dense and texturally mindboggling. The way the bird community told stories was much more compressed, much more rhythmic. She was used to the multi-layered meaning delivered in the tone of a single tweet [8]. Word-processing at lightning speeds inside, the bird toddled back and forth on her legs, wondering what letters to peck at. Luckily, Livia continued, saving her the trouble.

So. You are correct in your estimation of my species. We have much to learn, and we have spent many generations severing the threads by which we can learn it.”

Flo took her time. She seemed to be pecking up a tough bit of grain, so focused and determined was her demeanor. Finally the screen showed her question, “What in the world are they dosing us with, then? How did contraceptives manage to get into the birdfeed?”

Livia stared at the words for a moment with a small smile. Oh yes, the matter at hand. “Well, my dear, we did manage to maintain contraceptive practices, despite the ongoing demonization. Birth control has been practiced the world over for as long as written records can reach. IUDs were fashioned first for camels & goats on long journeys. But humans are rather creative, so the list goes on. Diaphrams made from lemon halves or goat’s bladder, or cabbage and willow leaves, suppositories made from cocoa butter and quinine sulfate, acacia tree extract with honey, oil of cedar and lead ointment, frankincense and olive oil, peppermint oil and soft wool; physical endeavors like sneezing or holding the breath during ejaculation, coitus interruptus—”

Coitus interruptus?” Flo interrupted. Cheeky bird.

Yes, dear, thank you. Also post-coital herbal remedies of ginger, vitamin C, pennyroyal, blue cohosh, angelica, rue, and of course modern-day diaphragms, sponges, spermacides, condoms, and the quite popular pharmaceutical options like the Pill, the Patch, the Ring[9].”

Flo was standing stock still, aiming the laser beam of an orange eye at the white-feathered crone. Livia cut to the chase.

So, you must wonder how this can be. How we have so many options for reducing our own population while it continues to swell to a never-before-seen magnitude. How we stoop to the great hypocrisy of trying to control populations of other species, without consent, while taking up more space than is our right. How we feel we should have any say whatsoever against the proliferation of another’s kind.”

Flo bobbed her head. Yes, Livia. The point. Let’s have it.

Well. It’s simple, really. Our cultural structures have not yet outgrown the residual paranoia of the past. Colonization and its traumas have kept many people thinking we should try to control others. And so we haven’t finished re-writing the rules of the present to reflect a comprehension and respect for the divinity of individual consent of all beings in the inseparable wholeness of collective consciousness.”

Simple.

Really.

At that, the storyweave reached its maximum threadcount for the moment. Both human and bird recognized it immediately. Florence took two hops toward the window, which flung itself open in that moment. Livia nodded and threw the colorshapesounds of resounding gratitude upon the wall as her friend took off into the night.

Well. That was it, then. There was much work to tend. The Communiputor politely offered a warm mug of rooty tea, unconcealed from the cupboard closest to Livia. She smiled at the scent of it, accepted with a squeeze of appreciation upon the hanging vine, and made her way back into the lab for a good night of learning.

 

1. Useful perspective upgrade: “Pigeon FOV is around 340-degrees horizontal and about the same 135-vertical degrees as humans, but their vertical field is even more asymmetrically oriented toward the ground.” For further reading, here’s a door.

2. This was all Art, a theatrical spectacle for the frontal lobe, of course; the accuracy of instantaneous comprehension known in english as “ESP” was their primary mode of communication. However, in compassion to the eukaryote bodily code upgrades, and therefore as an offering to the temple of the flesh, they slowed it down like this so as to be more readily metabolized by others. Pay it forward, like. Encode it into the Stone, keep it safe for Later.

3. Quiverfull. In case you’re not in the know: it’s rather Quivery.

 4. Meanwhile, in Birdland… there be tides to turn.

5. It’s respectful to sometimes bow to another’s superior language formations. “The Inuit have a word for it…” and suchlike.

 6. A quickview of the lightning storm of immediacy grokking in the mind of the Pigeon known as Flo: The english language is so cumbersome and unnecessary, and yet, once developing a basic facility with it, one can truly appreciate its simple precision and artistry. Storytelling has its place. There is kindness beneath the business of words, however saddled with with a strange type of seeking that the rest of the animal world finds curious and slightly overbearing. What are you seeking?  we would like to ask. It’s already right there. Always. Everywhere. You can’t actually escape what you are seeking. Stop seeking, and there you have it. But the aeons-deep code of conduct between us (even though the humans have generally been trashing such codes for centuries) keeps the rest of animalia from stating the obvious. Let them find their way.

7. I’d say Obvious Troll is obvious.

8. Ah, the learning curve of How To Properly Tweet. So steep. Keep working on it, bipeds. Protip: never tweet in all caps. Such a thing is no longer a tweet but a squawk, and it ought to be moved to a Squawker app, for organizational purposes at the very least.

9. Not to mention the Lord, the Fellowship.

The Blue Scare

So: the pigeons were turning blue. Bit by bit, under the feathers, their dandruff came in sky blue, cerulean, and light turquoise. It was cause for concern among the leaders.

What is the meaning of this?” asked Barb, a Barb Pigeon nervously bobble-heading back and forth on the shit-splattered wooden slab holding up the multicolored ceiling beams of Livia’s tower. [1]

We’re done for,” squawked Harvey, an excitable red-crested Helmet. “They’ve poisoned us. We’re finally succumbing to this hateful country’s Winged Rat Ostracization Network of Greed!” [2]

You made that up. Harvey. Get a handle, man. Jesus. Paranoia strikes deep.” Karl was perched up against the little nook where rafter meets ceiling, his head turned fully sideways so he could give Harvey the square dead-eye of unflappable derision. A sturdy racing Homer from Detroit and usually a rather light-hearted dude, Karl was clearly suffering from the bluing as much as the others; he just had more pride than to get all twitterpated in front of the flock.

Maybe we’re spending too much time with the Chicago crowd, and we’re being adapted into more appropriate inner-city accessories. Chicago does have that effect on people, making the players props to its own story rather than the other way around.” Florence, as usual, spoke smoothly enough to get the attention of the whole wobbling, bobbling bunch. “But Harvey does have a point, you know. And it’s mission-specific… It may be an alarm signal asking our immediate attention.”

They turned to her, horror-movie slow, and stood stock still waiting for more information. Dramatic silence witnessed the ticking of an absent clock, the creaking of the wind through the flaking wood slats, a few scaly legs lifted in anticipation. Heads turned and cocked to the side. A lone drop of poo sounded its release to the ground.

Florence flapped twice to alight, settling gracefully on a leaning shovel handle in the middle of the dusty tower.

A bit about Flo: she was a notoriously favored and learned Homer; her parents were first generation Dragoon and English Carrier, so she prided herself in not only speed & accuracy, but culture & storykeeping. Being one of the more socially courageous hens in Greater Passeriform Squabland, she tended to catch newspaper articles with regularity as she ate from the hand of a favorite park-going lunatic. She headed up the Global Open-source Book-free Birdland Library such that the ancient story of Bird was well woven with the modern weft of Messenger, in the name of evolution [3]. She also, most importantly, had on-call, first-hand access to one Livia Columbia. Now, in the dim wooden turret, taking her time, looking from orange button eye to orange button eye, she continued as a kindergarten teacher addresses a captive audience of crosslegged reverence:

You see, the humans have indeed been busy ‘fixing’ their problems lately. Instead of tracing the issues to where the real problems lie, they’ve been letting their distracted complaints and trembling rumfingers drive the whole damn train. As a result, they are spraying toxins in perfectly lovely meadows in efforts to kill any potential psychotropic plant forms; they are pouring curdled radioactive leftovers into nice, clean lakewater; they are growing corn that tastes like vanilla and bubblegum and swiss cheese.”

Captivating as it was, Karl needed her to get to the point. “You’re right. We know. But what’s it got to do with all this blue business?”

Flo swept her wings wide, raising her coo to a shrill pitch. “You remember the Great Vermin Poison of the last decade? Well, they seem to have upgraded the formula, and there’s a new poison spreading through normal grains undetected!”

There was a general outburst. Squawks and fluff filled the air. How was this possible? Who spiked the food supply? What does it look like? Wait, Livia wouldn’t let that happen! How did she not forsee this? Maybe she got in some kind of trouble. Maybe someone blackmailed her. Who let the cat out of the bag? Cat?!!?!

Questions like this don’t help forge understanding, but they must be expelled in some way before honest investigation can begin. In birdland, it often takes the form of a swoop through the sky, a figure-eight of birdbrain out-winging the thinking mind. [4] But they were inside, so it moved rather more like the rabble through a roused human crowd.

Expulsion was wise. Investigation was indeed necessary. Florence was so good at assuming authority, in times of stress it was common to forget that she might be mistaken. As many humanfolk know, blindly-followed leaders are most susceptible to delivering societies to the brink of insanity.

For the most part, the uppity English hen was right. The humans were doing a lot of unwise things. They had done all those things she named and much, much more. There was indeed a history of humans poisoning the gentle species with 4-aminopyridine, DRC-1339, booze-soaked grains, and much, much more [5]. There was indeed some foul play at fault in Wilhelm’s mysterious death. However, monocular vision was blinding the brood to one important fact: there was no bad guy spreading the Blue Plague.

Protein. The humans were obsessed with Protein. So much so, they had genetically modified normal grains to contain large doses of it. And, strangely enough, too much protein makes the pigeon go blue.

Florence, know-it-all as she was, did not know this at all.

So, the bird tower of Livia S. Colombia’s homestead was lit up with the roused rabble of some three hundred pissed-off, paranoid, panicky pigeons.

Not a good way to start the day. The old lady would surely earn her stripes for this one. A few in the bank for next season, perhaps. A little vacation in Fiji. A new cable-knit sweater from the sisters with the Alpaca herd up North. An extra few bottles of pinking for her handsome white shock of head-fluff.

As usual when the sun peeked over the first silvered treelimbs, Livia opened the heavy door to the tower, bucket of feed in one hand, bucket of water in the other. [6]

 

cheekee cheekee chip chip chip coo coo coooooo coo coooooup

 

Despite their obviously rankled state, many of the birds instinctively flew down to the grandmotherly form as she distributed the day’s rations in the wide troughs. When Livia stooped to freshen the water in their poop-frosted tins, only then did the winged population hear Florence’s hissed commands.

Don’t eat the food, fools! What were we just talking about? Even Livia’s food can’t be trusted until we know more! You are going to be bluebirds by sundown, and is that what you want?!

Slowly, surely, one by one, the squabbish little eyes blinked and the beaks raised up from the possibility of contamination. Feathers ruffled self-consciously, making an awkward little picture around the woman’s crouched form: staring birds, every third one or so fluffed up like the tiny grey pom-pom of a zombie punk cheer squad.

Livia, an instrument quite intricately tuned to the subtle notes of birdland, had picked up on the strange energetic charge in the flock before she’d even poured the contents of her coffee can. Her fierce love of the bird family was predicated upon great mutual respect, so she was quite aware when it was flagging.

She now took ample time finishing her task with the water, wiping her small knotty hands on her overalls, and standing her fully erect perch height of 4’11 [7]. She silently looked from eye to eye through the bird squadrons. When her lavender-silver eyes came to rest on the knotted beak of Florence herself, Livia raised an eyebrow, took a deep breath to the soles of her talonless feet, and bellowed out: “Allright, WHAT?!

 

**

1. Affectionately referred to as the Coup Coop. Among the locals. Local Pigeons, that is.
2. WRONG.
3. More on GPS and GOBBL when we get to the downlow on the PLPL and the AEAE. Topsecret bird shit. Wait for it.
4. Reptilian brain: efficient.
5. If you’ve not looked into it recently… Terrible. Terrible. And: notably terrible. (That last one may be only joke-terrible. Art. Who can really tell these days?)
6. Before enlightenment: toss grains, carry water.
7. …which, worth noting, is about ten times the average height in the avian community .

Apocalypso

The problem with the humans is that they were all pulling for it, every last one. Apocalypse for breakfast, apocalypse with lunch, apocalypse on a toothpick in the afternoon bloody mary. The Situation, they all said, has gotten so far out of hand that it is on a beeline trajectory to explosive entropy, calamitous chaos, destructive downfall, impertinent implosion. It was headed in the direction from which grammatical whimsy never returns.

Strangely enough, although they all agreed on this viewpoint, the humans of this planet heavily, heatedly, vehemently disagreed about the causes. Some thought it was the pollution and the rising waters and the rampant, resource-guzzling, constantly-upgrading manufacturing process of the computer systems used to analyze these phenomena; others thought it was the last scene of the epic battle of Christ v. Antichrist (live on pay-per-view!); others believed it was politicians flooding social media with idiotic troll armies. To some, it was their looming divorce, to others, it was the tropical storm sent to smite the homos, to others, it was the incoming comet on a collision course with the upper half of the Western hemisphere. Still others: aliens!!! Any way you roll the dice, impending doom had everyone’s chips.

Not that everyone would admit to it, though. Oh, no; on the contrary, people were working tirelessly to abort that future. But ironically, in order to play one’s whole hand to avoid the catastrophe, one must believe in the catastrophe. Devotedly. Resolutely. Unwaveringly. Maniacally. Fanatically.

Right?

So, what juicy little secret fuels so many engines trying to save the world? That’s right: people want apocalypse. They want apocalypse to come clean up the mess. They’d like it to gesso the living hell outta this dystopian canvass so they can paint something fresh from the start: something with a heart that isn’t so incessantly frosted with the cold breath of bail bondsmen, advertising pop-ups, and chronic identity crises that contribute to the horrible, suffering deaths of children and puppies and chickens. The whole species seems to have developed this character part that would rather blowtorch the bedroom than clean out the closet or decide on a new wallpaper scheme.

This is where Livia comes in.

She felt, at times, like the only human who knew the world itself—the living earth, inclusive of all its parts—was hell-bent on survival and perfectly equipped to continue. She believed, always, that the whole of the Earth was quite capable of bringing into balance its Shadow, its Light, and most fantastically of all, its Color.

When Livia had conducted her top-secret research, back when it had had a reason to be top-secret, way back in the day, before the Military Industrial Complex developed such a hard-on for mechanized warfare, tweetable policy, and the chilly back-door draft of the video game empire, she had felt utterly inspired and wholly supported by the workings of Nature. Yes: even in the wake of all the horrific human error of the second World War, even then, after some of the worst mistakes the species had ever made in its ruthless quest for illusions of spotless control. She had seen a very clear picture of the dumbfounding fallibility of human culture. And she had witnessed an unassuming group of birds commit heroic, selfless feats of grandeur and unimaginable tricks of intelligence. In those early days of her research, dedicating her toil to her late husband, she had received this message, loud and clear, and it began to ring true from every direction she went: Nature is completely aware.

Nature had this one in the bag. Humans were not a threat to It, humans were an act of It.

Human beings—the ones experiencing all the emotion and all the turmoil and all the determination—were the ones telling stories about what was wrong. Nature has always had its own story, and its story has proven to be much, much longer than any human story has ever been [1]. Nature had it clear as a bell: It was fully surrendered to the Flow that licked the face and washed the shores of any crumbled crisis that humans brought into being. As an Act of Nature, humanity was quite welcome to participate in healing the industrial scars that its dance brought into being. It was quite welcome to kiss the hand that fed it. It was quite welcome to sing along with a different chorus anytime it wanted. It was quite welcome to reach for the nearest tree and hold on for dear life. But no one was required to quit playing the villain. Or the saint. All those story-tellers, all those manipulators and prospectors and inventors, they were all happening inside of a large, beautiful, graceful ball that rolled as it pleased through the endless Breath of Quantum Gravitation. Everyone welcome. All included.

Now, for Livia, human as the rest, this recognition had taken something of a plunge after her lifeblood work was rejected and suppressed, after she had survived an attempted rape, a successful blackmail, and a vindictive dismissal. When she met the further censorship of her findings even after she had gained the courage to publish on her own, Livia S. Columbia decided to let herself go off the deep end for a while. She studied the Darkness.

She walked in the alleys alone at night and slept in the bright of day. She rolled cigarettes with chemically-processed Phillip-Morris tobacco and a pinch of cayenne. She camped out beneath billboards and inside abandoned toy factories. She read only Cosmopolitan and GQ. Occasionally, she dressed up like a trendsetter and went shopping all day at the big mall. She bought an expensive, unnecessary item at each of the largest department stores, ate a big lunch, and then returned her items in the afternoon before wasting the gas to creep all the way back home. A later version of herself would have called all of this “research,” but at the time it was simply the only thing to do. She was living on credit, searching for nothing, and discovering various ways to take someone else’s word for the (American) Dream. She was diligently dog-earing the manual of someone else’s Instructions for Living Properly. Every day, she was trying out someone else’s complex.

The Pigeons still followed her everywhere she went. Out of habit, she spoke to them with her mind and body. They seemed to follow her pain unquestioningly, lonely and lost as she felt. Slowly, surely, her wandering brought her further out of town, deeper into the forest. There, in the quiet company of the unseen, she began to find the skills that brought her into life again.

She noticed the opening and closing of the sky, imagining how the clouds looked from above the shadows they made. She began to watch for the shadows of approaching cars as she sat beside the highway, feeling the forest sigh persistently in its own vigil. She could feel the cool air of bird shadows passing, before she heard or saw their flight. She began to see the shadows arrive on store clerk’s faces before they attempted to hide their discomfort from her. The Shadow itself began to appear as one seamless character, one shapeshifting, innocuous, intangible Happening that occurred universally, as an affirmation of the relationship between all beings in process. A choice, but not a doom. A sensation, but not a diagnosis. A constantly-moving pattern of Life living Itself.

Once Livia was nearly fledging age within her new awareness, she began to actively re-engage the Pigeons in communication. She found them even more supple and adventurous than they had been in her earlier laboratory-bound work. She found them more capable of abstract thought, more willing to try difficult intellectual tasks and attend to long explorations of subject-object relations. She found them a lot more cunning, notably cheeky. It seemed their social awareness was just as well-tuned as their intelligence, and they were capable of a type of empathy she hadn’t been receiving from the likes of her own kind.

Together they migrated to the northerly stretches of the Boundary Waters, out beyond strands of rarely-trod roads, deep into the birch & pine of a liminal forest preserve, where they were left alone, very much alone, to discover the infinite possibilities of communication in the infinitesimal synapse between dark & light, between breath & bird, between doing & being.

As it turned out, what was possible was to accept the shape of the whole world’s Shadow. To actually accept it; not “take on,” not “process,” and not “assume responsibility for” it, but just “accept” the shape of the Shadow, for what it was. In that ever-deepening breath of clarity, Livia relinquished all enmity. Her vision clarified to the reach of a Hawk [2], and she could see new colors between the spectral rainbow. Feathers of a brilliance beyond any conception of black and white. There, in the timeslice of Ma [3], she could at last see the Shadowdance in fullness. It was not a noun; it was a verb.

Through adaptation to unconscionable trauma repeated en masse, the people had turned the Shadow into a Thing, into an Enemy, into a Beast. They had lost their connection with its natural movement, with its meaning. The dance of sunlight and space through the breathing poplar forest. The ridges and veins of the living neighborhoods holding their ground to the soles of feet and paws of hounds and hands of children. The vastness between breathing stars. Instead, flailing for control, the people had made their Shadow into an Other and then treated it like most colonized cultures treated their Others; they sought to annihilate it.

Annihilation, in a world of infinite connectivity, meant all engines going down: Suicide. Apocalypse. Doom. Extinction.

Livia and the Pigeons were learning that all beings were perfectly capable of living and dying without killing themselves in the process. They were learning that Nature had been fighting malignant cell networks since before radiation treatments were invented. And they were learning that Nature had already read the suicide note, and it was, in every waking moment and doubly in dreams, turning this ship around.

They were also learning, step by step, breath by wing by prayer, how to help with the turning.

-**

1. Consider the Monarch.
2. 20/2 by optometrist’s measure. Which means 100/10, you know. And 1000/100, of course. So we can get a proper understanding of Scale. Imagine this kind of visionary watching your dreamscapes.
3.

Dark Matter

Gallumphing through darks and hollows like an oil painter filling in the depths where the light doesn’t reach, it ran. Through silent miles that required no brush to bring out the details, it ran. A streak of nothing throttling over rolling prairie dog hills and under cover of those clamorous stars of the visual stage, it ran. Inside of the people’s screens and outside of the people’s consciousness, it ran. Against the turn of the world, it ran.

There was the sound of rustling leaves that accompanies windy autumns and the nightmares of children. There was the deadening of flower heads and dropping of seed pods that nature times perfectly with the eerie beat of seasonal drums. There was the sentinel stare of the blink between starlight that witnesses all of what passes in the night regardless of design or location. With all of these perfectly normal, perfectly unremarkable aspects of the pre-dawn, any stretching traveler of the graveyard shift or weary local insomniac without a television might very well find a lack of evidence for their growing uneasiness. But the uneasiness would be distinct, nonetheless, and icy as a bone-deep shudder. The lack of evidence would likely send them back to the constructed security of their respective dwellings to find the useful distraction of something to do and the useful explanation of something to be.

However, on the side of this rather deserted stretch of highway, there was one who detected the undetectable. She stood in the ditch where drivers had thrown their plastic bottles of piss and efficiency. She stood with her knees deeply bent and her hands hovering parallel to the ground beneath her boot-shod feet. She stood as the leaf-rustling wind moved her hair with the soft care of a lover. She stood as the seed-dropping gravity held her skin on the skeleton with the firmness of a nursing mother. She stood as the stars exploded, looking at the absent moon and listening to the sleeping birds. There was a color of solemnity flowing through the tunnel of her dilated pupils. Holding perfectly still, she could breathe down through the red leather of her soles without disturbing the air around her. In this way, she was able to witness the passage of the shadow’s wake.

It hurdled westward over the highway toward the darker night, spewing the invisible gravel of unsung molecules and unblackened carbon. The heaviness of its flight took her breath away as if the thing had landed inside her body, but knowing the dangers of such identification, she shook off the sensation faster than it came. The creature, if it could be called a creature… no, the phenomenon, if it could be called a phenomenon… no, the vacuum from which nightmares come: it passed before she could even harness awareness of its presence. It was not a presence. It was not present. The concept of “presence” could only to apply to the realm of sentient awareness, something for which the passing engulfment had no access nor concern. It was beyond sensory data. All that could be felt was its wake. A wave of exhaustion was what struck her first, then fear and dread, doom raised to the frequency of panic.

Were she less trained in discernment, she might have assigned these sensations to various thoughts circulating habitual neural pathways, making up a story to match, forging an attachment point. But she knew well enough her own shadow that she was unsurprised by the shapes it took. Dread. Exhaustion. Fear. Doom. Eggshells. Panic. [1] She knew them by name and understood that when these feelings caught her attention fully, they signaled the passage of a shadow through the field, capable of dominating the perceptive field, defining the meaning of all incoming data, amplifying the drama of her mortality. Any seasoned practitioner can tell you: the drama is not the point, but merely pointing. Rest assured, the white-haired red-booted creature crouching in the ditch of an obscure abandoned road was seasoned as a classic salmis [2], so she was focused on the proverbial moon rather than fascinated by the finger. Thusly undeterrable by the shadow-puppets adorning all available surfaces in the winded wake, she kept her attention steady, breathing in open awareness. Cautiously turning her eyeballs as far to the left as they could reach, her hawkeye vision pierced the path of what had so violently shaken unseen perceptions of the earthstar. There was nothing there. Nothing. No movement, no change. Nothing at all.

Feeling the cold rush of the vacuum left in the nightmarish wake, she deepened her breath and turned more fully to the dark of the west. As tremors shook her from head to toe, she peered with disbelief after the monstrous void, unseen and long gone. As the scene to her backside where the earth met the sky turned ever so slightly into the color that only birds can see, she glared into the darkest depth of night her eyes had ever registered.

Before long, they would learn how to register one darker.

-**

1. Def. Dep. eh? Defense Department, in the parlance. Common.
2. May I recommend a nice robust Châteauneuf-du-Pape with that?

Opening

Eyes, downcast with the kind of stare that comes with habituated despair, caught wind of movement in the air and fluttered up. A tiny scrap of paper was floating down in front of them, weightlessly shuddering through invisible currents toward the inevitable ground below. The eyes watched it land gently a few feet away. The owner of the eyes observed a listless moment of curiosity, punctuated by a sigh that unfolded one pocketed hand. Moving of its own accord through the molten glass of dreamtime, the hand reached the scrap of paper and flattened it out. The eyes scanned small words. The cloud cover of a scowl was dissolved and metabolized by a series of rapid blinks. Words filed into neural patterns, stretching into the expanse of sky available to correlating pupils. The paper was pocketed, but not the hand. Movement came, light and thoughtful. To the hidden observer, transformation was clear and irrevocable. Something invisible had changed. The pocket containing the scrap held these words:

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-**